| TLDR: Dealing with a narcissistic boss or colleague can be challenging, but recognizing the signs of narcissistic supply and taking steps to end it can help protect your well-being and keep your work on track. Narcissistic supply is the attention, admiration, and validation that narcissists seek to sustain their inflated self-image. Signs of narcissistic supply include a need for attention and admiration, a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a tendency to exploit or manipulate others for personal gain. If your boss or colleague constantly seeks attention and validation from others, boasts about their accomplishments, or dismisses others’ ideas or opinions, they may be seeking narcissistic supply. You may also become a source of that supply without even realizing it. To end narcissistic supply, set boundaries, stick to the facts, don’t engage in power struggles, stay professional, and seek support. While rooted in psychoanalytic theory, recent research has provided insights into the mechanisms underlying narcissistic behavior. However, there is currently no cure for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and treatment can be challenging. Psychotherapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) are some of the most common treatments, but the efficacy of these treatments is poor due to the resistance of individuals with NPD to therapy, questioning, or changing their behavior. Overall, more research is needed to determine the most effective treatments for this challenging condition. |
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition characterised by an excessive need for attention and admiration, a lack of empathy, and a grandiose sense of self-importance. Individuals with NPD may seek out relationships and situations that provide them with a steady supply of validation and admiration, which is known as “narcissistic supply.” In the workplace, dealing with a narcissistic boss or colleague can be challenging, but recognising the signs of narcissistic supply and taking steps to end it can help protect your well-being and keep your work on track. .
Recognising Narcissistic Supply in the Workplace
One of the key features of narcissistic supply is the need for attention and admiration. If you have a boss or colleague who constantly seeks attention and validation from others, boasts about their accomplishments, or dismisses others’ ideas or opinions, they may be seeking narcissistic supply. Other signs of narcissistic supply include a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a tendency to exploit or manipulate others for personal gain.
Becoming a Source of Narcissistic Supply
If you have a boss or colleague who is seeking narcissistic supply, you may become a source of that supply without even realising it. For example, if your boss constantly seeks your approval or validation, or if they regularly ask you to do things for them that are outside of your job description, they may be using you as a source of narcissistic supply. Similarly, if a colleague always talks about their accomplishments or dismisses your ideas, they may be seeking validation and admiration from you.
Ending Narcissistic Supply
If you have become a source of narcissistic supply, it is important to take steps to end that supply in order to protect your well-being and achieve success in your career. Here are some recommended practices for ending narcissistic supply:
- Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and expectations with your boss or colleague to prevent them from exploiting or manipulating you.
- Focus on facts: When dealing with a narcissist, stick to the facts and avoid getting emotional or reactive.
- Don’t engage in power struggles: Narcissists thrive on power struggles, so avoid engaging in arguments or trying to compete with them.
- Stay professional: Maintain a professional demeanor and don’t take the narcissist’s behavior personally.
- Seek support: It can be helpful to seek support from colleagues, friends, or a mental health professional to help you manage the stress and emotional impact of working with a narcissist.
Deeper Dive: Understanding the Dynamics of Narcissistic Supply
To fully understand the concept of narcissistic supply, it is important to understand the underlying dynamics of NPD. “Narcissistic supply” is a term that originated in psychoanalytic theory and refers to the attention, admiration, and validation that narcissists seek from others to sustain their inflated self-image (Kohut, 1971; Kernberg, 1975). According to this theory, individuals with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) have a fragile sense of self-esteem that is dependent on the attention and admiration they receive from others. They may seek out relationships and situations that provide them with a steady supply of validation and admiration, and may become angry or hostile when they do not receive the attention they feel entitled to.
More recent theoretical frameworks, such as the interpersonal model of narcissism (Wink, 1991) and the grandiose exhibitionism subtype of NPD (Pincus & Lukowitsky, 2010), have expanded on the concept of narcissistic supply and provided further insights into the mechanisms underlying narcissistic behavior. The interpersonal model of narcissism suggests that individuals with NPD have an exaggerated sense of entitlement and exploit others to fulfill their needs for admiration and power. The grandiose exhibitionism subtype of NPD, on the other hand, suggests that individuals with NPD may engage in attention-seeking behaviors, such as boasting or self-promotion, to gain admiration and validation from others.
In addition to these theoretical frameworks, empirical research has provided support for the concept of narcissistic supply. For example, research by Rhodewalt and Morf (1995) found that individuals with NPD had higher levels of self-reported exhibitionism and entitlement, which are traits associated with a need for attention and admiration. Later, in 2001, they found that individuals with NPD were more likely to engage in self-promotion and boastful behaviors, aimed at gaining attention and admiration from others. Another study by Karterud et al. (2017) found that individuals with NPD reported higher levels of need for admiration and social dominance compared to individuals with other personality disorders.
NPD is biological and may be genetic
More recent studies have found a biological basis for NPD. One study by Ritter et al. (2013) used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to investigate the neural correlates of empathy in individuals with NPD. The study found that individuals with NPD showed reduced activation in brain regions associated with empathy and perspective-taking, such as the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) and medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC), when observing others’ emotional experiences. These findings suggest that individuals with NPD may have difficulty empathizing with others and understanding their perspectives.
Another study by Sebastian et al. (2016) used electroencephalography (EEG) to investigate the neural correlates of reward processing in individuals with NPD. The study found that individuals with NPD showed increased activity in brain regions associated with reward processing, such as the ventral striatum and orbitofrontal cortex, when receiving positive feedback. These findings suggest that individuals with NPD may have a heightened sensitivity to reward and praise, which may contribute to their need for admiration and attention.
Furthermore, research has also suggested that genetic factors may play a role in the development of NPD. For example, a study by Lutchmaya et al. (2002) found that a variation in the oxytocin receptor gene was associated with increased narcissism in both healthy individuals and individuals with NPD.
Treatment options
There is currently no cure for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and treatment can be challenging. Several approaches have been proposed to help individuals with NPD manage their symptoms and improve their quality of life. One of the most common treatments is psychotherapy, which can help individuals with NPD develop greater self-awareness and insight into their behavior and motivations. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) may also be effective, as it can help individuals with NPD challenge their maladaptive thought patterns and develop more adaptive coping strategies. However, the efficacy of these treatments is poor. Treatment success is exacerbated as people with NPD are often resistant to therapy, resistant to questioning or changing their behaviour, and frequently likely to drop out of therapy. Overall, while there is some evidence to suggest that therapy may be helpful for some individuals with NPD, more research is needed to determine the most effective treatments for this challenging condition.
Conclusion
Recognizing the signs of narcissistic supply and taking steps to end it can help individuals protect their well-being and achieve success in their career when dealing with a narcissistic boss or colleague. This is important because the concept of narcissistic supply is a crucial aspect of many theoretical models of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), referring to the attention, admiration, and validation that narcissists seek to sustain their inflated self-image. Although rooted in psychoanalytic theory, more recent theoretical frameworks and empirical research have expanded on the concept and provided further insights into the mechanisms underlying narcissistic behavior. By setting clear boundaries, focusing on facts, and seeking support, individuals can reduce the impact of narcissistic behavior on their work and well-being.
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